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Fair warning for those reading this review: It’s entirely plausible that I am outside the target demographic for Transformers 2. So my perception of the movie may be tainted by my age. That said, I feel as if my eyeballs and frontal lobe have been assaulted over the two and a half hours I spent with Michael Bay’s robot rumble. Like any victim of violence, I feel the need to speak out about it. So I’m writing this review at almost two in the morning. As always, I’ll avoid spoilers, so if you haven’t yet seen it and are on the fence, please consider my opinion.

Imagine an incredibly hyper child constructing a very intricate scale model of the Eiffel Tower out of Legos and Christmas lights. Then, in his excitement to show you his work, the child launches it at your head. The unexpected impact of plastic against your face stuns you, but you are conscious enough to watch the project hit the floor in a dazzling rattle of blocks and lights. The toy explosion as each piece detaches from its neighbor, is magnificent. If you can imagine this scene, you have some idea of what watching “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen” is like.

I can only assume that the technical achievements accomplished within this film are amazing because they flew across the screen so fast that I could scarcely make them out. Most set pieces featured twisted metal crudely shaped into destructive creatures which tear through buildings, rocks, vehicles, people, famous landmarks, and each other, without so much as a second thought. The resulting debris, smoke, dust, shrapnel and carnage obscure the scene as much as a New Year’s Eve dropping of the balloons and confetti at midnight. This battering of visual stimuli is accompanied by constant yelling, thunderous explosions and screeching dissonance of both the electronic and mechanical variety. If you’d like to simulate the experience at home, put your ear up to a tumble dryer while your favorite pair of jeans and sneakers are rolling around in it. Then toss glitter at your eyes as you blink frantically to keep any from actually sticking to your cornea.

In essence, director Michael Bay has created a live-action cartoon about two factions of sentient robots who fight each other due to differing ideologies with humans caught in the middle. It’s a lot more of the same stuff which made the first movie what it was. I call it a cartoon because most of the human characters are caricatures, every bit as exaggerated as the robots they fight with and against. They all speak in tired clichés and act exactly as a jaded audience would expect them to, given that they came from Hollywood. The action scenes are separated by bits of drama that feels forced. The comedy amounts to some dirty innuendo and a peppering of profanity designed to elicit a cheap chuckle. Thousands of anonymous extras die each time two big robots disagree, but we the viewers are supposed to care about the lives of a college kid and his hot girlfriend, knowing full well that there’s no way the director would kill them off.

I understand that this is all supposed to be a fun summer ride. I more than many, can appreciate a good roller coaster, with its abundance of sensory overload. However, TF2 isn’t that kind of ride. It lasts way too long to be a roller coaster. In fact, if you want to compare it to a ride, you could call it one of those crazy rides you get when someone is trying to impress you by driving recklessly. You don’t so much appreciate the skill of the person in control, as hope for nothing to go wrong while you wait for it to end.

The movie is rated PG-13. It contains lots of people dying though very little blood. There are sexual images and physical violence a-plenty, on top of the harsh language. I don’t recommend this movie to anyone, much less children. If you must see it, wait for the High-Definition release on home video so you can rewind and fast forward the parts to get a better look at which metal thing did what to whom.

After lots of research and some soul searching, I’m ready to plunge into the tepid pool that is the Apple products userbase. Below is my explanation (or rationalization) for why I’ve waited so long and what has brought me to the conclusion that now is the right time.

Let me be blunt: I don’t like Apple as a company. I’ve been at least aware of them since they released their first Macintosh computers decades ago. As I became more tech-savvy and got to use them, I realized that Macs were an example of everything that was wrong with consumer electronics. Here were these little boxes that promised an alternative way of doing things; a different look and feel. They offered less functionality, proprietary hardware, and a distinct lack of compatibility with third parties, wrapped in a pretty package. You paid more money for less power, but got to feel like you were part of an exclusive club of “alternative thinkers.” It was all the epitome of “form over function” and I hated it. (continue reading…)

Now that midnight has come and gone, May the third is officially upon us here on the East Coast of these United States. What does this mean to you? Probably very little. That is unless you are Count Hartmann II, in which case you’d be long dead, but your descendants might still be celebrating the anniversary of the day you becomes ruler of Liechtenstein. Of course there were a lot of milestones on this day in history for the US as well. Back in 1802, Washington D.C. officially became a city. May 3rd of 1936, was a big deal for New York Yankee Joe DiMaggio who made his major-league debut exactly 73 years ago today. The “Events in History” page tells me that there was lots of killing on May 3rd; countless famous battles and a handful of atrocities. So there’s something to be said for the fact that, currently, I am at peace.

I was born thirty eight years ago. I moved from country to country, then city to city, then neighborhood to neighborhood and now across state lines. I’ve lived through back-woods dangers, being mugged at gunpoint, food poisoning, sky diving, stunt driving, ninja training, brushes with the mob and the law. I’ve buried my dad and my grandfather. I’ve fathered a son and aborted a mistake. I’ve created music and videos and dabbled in magic. I fixed machines and broke hearts. I’ve given and taken so much, many times without permission.

Now, with my prime long behind me, I find myself content. I’m approaching 40 and satisfied. There’s never been a want in my life which has gone unfulfilled. To this very day, my boundaries are never fixed and I feel safe in continuing pushing against them. I feel as though the chaos which swirls around me will always have that calm center from which I can get the best view of the action.

So I may not have a birthday cake or a party to tell me I’ve gotten just a bit older, but that’s okay. I feel the time pass every day when I pause to appreciate all that I have. Who needs a calender to track the time when the good memories pile up all around you?

As a kid, birthdays were an anxiously anticipated time every year where I expected to be the center of attention. I liked that feeling so much that I managed to do a number of things to garner that kind of attention far more frequently. Then, there was a time when I didn’t care if I ever had another birthday because I thought life had shown me all there was to see. Now that i know better, I look forward to another thirty eight years of experiences.

Happy Birthday to me!

Like a sugar crash after enjoying a delicious ice cream sundae or the food coma following an exceptional Thanksgiving dinner, this week I find myself down in the dumps. I attribute this chemical unbalancing paradox to happiness. My life is great. I get everything I want, and then some. As I’ve written here before, my time in this life has been overwhelmingly positive.

So why do I feel the need to whine about being down? Why am I writing about depression? Mostly, it’s for the purpose of self-analysis. I tend to reason things out better when they are put into words on a page. So if you’ll indulge me, the following paragraphs will be my excuse for self-pity.

A pendulum must be allowed to swing. It will have its highs and lows. Without both, it cannot move naturally. While the mechanics of this are largely physical in nature, I believe psychological machinations are similarly designed. Unless we allow ourselves to experience both positive and negative, our minds will not appreciate either one.

The other factor is the natural reluctance to return to normalcy following extraordinary enjoyment in life. Anyone who’s ever travelled to an exotic destination and had the time of their lives can relate to that first morning back at work. You feel like the last thing you want is to return to things as they were. Wonderful memories inspire wondrous fantasies as reality creeps in and takes a firm hold on you once more.

I’ve felt similar melancholy the day after sky diving and shortly after my first performance on stage with my band. Once the initial adrenaline high wears off, the subsequent low can feel crushing. Perhaps this is one reason why some celebrities turn to drugs? After their fame starts to fade, they may want the feeling to continue. So they turn to chemicals which may simulate the same type of euphoria they felt while on top.

Each and every one of those former celebrities will tell you the same thing though; No matter how terrible things may get, no matter how hard it may be to live with yourself after the spotlight has moved on, they wouldn’t trade their moments of glory for anything in the world. I feel the same way.

This minor funk I’m in will quickly pass because I have yet another exciting weekend ahead of me. So while I’ve spent some time fighting off the gloom which follows greatness, there’s no doubt that I’ve enjoyed the moment for all it was worth. As always, I will continue to fill my life with the things that make me happy. I will never shy away from amazing opportunities as they present themselves.

If you’ve made it this far, you must be wondering what high point in my life has inspired this post. What possible circumstances could be responsible for my radical pendulum swings from joy to misery? Sadly, that is a story for another day.

There will probably be a lot of people who hate “The Watchmen” movie. These people are likely expecting to see good guys in masks save the day and stop the bad guys from destroying the world. Of course, those who have read the book before seeing the movie will know it’s about anything BUT that.

The movie translates things pretty well from the written page. There are omissions and changes for the sake of time and broader audience appeal. I don’t hold that against the film though. I enjoyed it. The running time was close to three hours, but for me it seemed to move along pretty quickly despite the fact that I was starving for something to eat. There was so much information to digest that I feel repeat viewings would probably benefit people who haven’t read the book.

Be warned that the theme of this story is decidedly dark. There is some good action. A healthy amount of tension builds up, even if you know what’s coming. The violence is brutal and unsettling at times. There isn’t a whole lot of laughing (unless you happen to be in the theater with people who can’t help but giggle when they see a penis on the screen). There is definitely nudity (both male and female) and some very deep philosophical discussion.

I enjoyed the music used in the film quite a bit. Most of it was in stark contrast to the visuals on screen, but all of it familiar enough to evoke the right emotion at the right time. Visually, this movie has an amazing amount to offer as well. There are times when you feel almost too close to the action and other times when you sense the detachment that looking at a comic book page will give you. I’m not sure how intentional these moments are, but they are effective and I’ll give the director credit for them.

As long as you walk into the film with an open mind, and are prepared to see a different side of comic books, you won’t be disappointed. If I could compare this movie to any other movie out there, it would be “No Country for Old Men.” If you’ve seen that one, that’s all the information you need to know whether you’ll like this one.

Imagine throwing on a shiny pair of cowboy boots. They look pretty snazzy, fit you snuggly and you can remember wearing a pair a few years ago. It seemed like a pretty good idea at the time, so why not go ahead an put this here set through its paces.

Now imagine, you’ve worn those same cowboy boots for eight years. Sure you felt like a real man for putting them on in the first place, and they were pretty good for kicking the ol’ Texas dust around for a while, but man did they do a number on your feet! After eight long years of wearing these things, everyone around you has told you how stilly you look in them. Your feet have become raw and tender. You’re ready to make a change…

Well look what we have here? It’s a slick new pair of running shoes; the kind of sneakers all the kids are really going for these days! They look really comfortable. They seem practical and really smart if you’re planning to run a long distance. Still, who knows how people will react to seeing you with this new pair of kicks. They aren’t exactly traditional, after all.

Still, you decide to take the chance and boy does it feel great! As soon as you put them on and get running, all your neighbors come out and beam with happiness. For the first time in a long time, you feel better about yourself. You feel like you can really shape up and better yourself; almost as if these shoes are here to help you climb out of your rut.

If you’ve not caught on to my analogy by now, then perhaps you could stand to take some classes on obviousness, captain oblivious. Of course I’m talking about the election of our new president. I think the sentiment above captures the general mood of the country about this latest change in power.

Nobody knows quite what to expect at this point, but we’re elated at the feeling of a fresh gust of wind breezing through Washington, D.C. It’s hard not to be optimistic after a changing of the guard, when so much cynicism has permeated our federal government for so long.

Of course even these happy times are touched by sadness. One of the friends who traveled in my circles passed away last Monday. He was known to us as “Clutch” and he was a badass. Our thoughts go out to his wife and daughters. It may be tough to feel optimism in the wake of grief, but when you consider how short life is, spending it filled with negativity becomes the last thing you want to do.

So I look forward to seeing how our new leader can help set the country back on a proper course, or even if he can. One thing’s for sure, it’s hard for him to do much worse than his predecessor.

This weekend my wife and I got a last-minute invitation to attend the wedding of her former boss to her former coworker. This was a man to whom many people referred as my wife’s “second husband.” They worked closely together for nearly a decade. Considering that my own marriage to her is about to cross its tenth anniversary mark, it’s no small accomplishment. So I was insulted for her, when she informed me that the invite came in the form of a hurried telephone conversation only twenty four hours before the event.

Against my better judgment, I acquiesced to the woman I married. We would attend not necessarily to wish them well, but to witness the spectacle and bask in its luster. And it certainly was a sight to see. The couple, coming from different faiths and neither being incredibly devout, chose to design an all-inclusive ceremony which adopted the traditions and rituals of both the Hindu and Jewish religions.

The proceedings were beautifully orchestrated and precisely executed. There was no denying the elegance of the affair. Yet I sat watching it with a growing sense of uneasiness. Something bothered me. It wasn’t only that the groom’s smile appeared to be painted on while his eyes were glazed over with boredom. It had nothing to do with the jumbling of religious symbolism to loosely piece together a cohesive wedding.

Then it came to me, upon further reflection; the groom has no respect for the bride. Without knowing either one well enough to judge their characters based upon intimate understanding, I have concluded that their marriage will not work.

Here’s what little I do know about the situation that lead to this marriage:
The bride was an assistant to an investment banker at the same company, just like my wife. She’s a party girl from Jersey who admits to not being too bright and secretly became involved with the groom many years ago. Though she continued to press, an engagement ring was a long time in coming. Almost all of the couple’s friends and family have gotten married before them.

The groom is an investment banker who works crazy hours, makes tons of money and goes through assistants very quickly. He is quick-tempered, forgetful, unappreciative, opinionated, stubborn, and calculating. That said, I also respect his talent and charm.

When my wife worked for him, she often came home in tears because she took personally the unjustified blame he would lay at her feet whenever something in his life (work related or otherwise) didn’t go his way. Throughout their relationship, he would constantly prove that he thought very little of who my wife was or what she did. It was only when others around him pointed out what a great job my wife did, that he got around to expressing some appreciation. Despite the fact that my wife assisted him for years longer than anyone else, he continued to treat her with little respect as long as she worked for him.

Taking into account the grooms attitude toward women who assist men like him in doing his job, and his behavior toward them, there is no way he considers his new bride to be his equal. That he’s taken so long to finally propose marriage to her, is an indication that he really doesn’t want to be married. The words he spoke at the reception and ceremony were nicely crafted, but ultimately hollow because it seemed as if they were being said as a means to accomplish his ends. This groom has in the past and up to present day shown disrespect to the woman who was his “office wife” for more years than he’s known his blushing bride. Both women worked in the same capacity and at the same company throughout the courtship process. So if he thinks so little of one, how could he love the other as deeply as he claims?

This union of different cultures appears, if you look more deeply, as a classic scenario; moderately attractive woman lands a successful man and keeps him patiently on the hook for years until he gives in and agrees to get married.

It’s certainly possible that I’m misreading things. I’m only speculating here, after all. The man seems to have a lot of friends and happy business associates. So he must be doing something right. As I said earlier, I don’t know either party well enough to speak about their character with authority.

Here’s what I do know for certain: The ceremony and reception were very expensive. It’s possible that paying off the remainder of my thirty year mortgage would have cost less. The food was okay at the Central Park Boathouse, but the service was dreadful. The live band at the reception was fantastic. The desserts were heavenly. The crowd at this party was exceptionally ill-mannered. The reception hall had a funny smell to it. The day was quite cold. Hindi music is lots of fun to dance to.

Before leaving for home, I shook the groom’s hand and wished the best of everything for the newly wedded couple, and I meant it. Here’s hoping I’m wrong and the groom really isn’t an elitist jerk. It would be wonderful if they lived happily ever after, had many happy and healthy children, as well as a loving marriage.

Every time I raised a glass to toast them, it was sincere. If only the invitation to this event had been as sincere, I might not feel as bitter about the time my wife spent working for this man or the time we spent celebrating his marriage.

Over the last few weeks or so, I’ve participated in more traditional games than I normally play. Some of them have been classics, like “Boggle” and “Scrabble.” Others, a bit newer like “Killer Bunnies” and “Ticket to Ride.” I call these games “traditional” because usually (over the last twenty years or so) most of my gaming involves some form of electronics. Board and card games though, do not involve anything more complicated than dice.

Juxtaposing video games with traditional gaming has brought me to an interesting realization. It seems that the chief difference between people playing games via computer electronics or in person around a piece of cardboard is the set of rules. That is, computer games have the rules very clearly defined. Digital electronics are very specific about what you can and cannot do. If you are playing a timed game, for instance, there is never a debate about whether the last point was scored before or after time expired. Not so, with humans.

For people, rules are not hard and fast. They are flexible. Sometimes even the most stringent of rules are open to interpretation. Other times, the most minor infraction of a rule can cause tremendous arguments. The card game “Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot” is an example of flexible rules in gaming. Players are allowed during the game, to make arrangements with each other for their mutual benefit. Cards in play may be sold or traded or simply given to other players as a favor. Just imagine the uproar if someone playing Poker decided to swap cards with someone else to complete their royal flush.

Scrabble is another example. Some people are very strict when they play. While others will allow words that might not necessarily be in the dictionary. So (assuming the game is being held in the U.S.A.) a word like “colour” may be okay with one player, but another may challenge it based on the rule which forbids the use of foreign words (since it is the U.K. version of “color”).

I believe that the establishment and later interpretation of rules are ways for human beings to socially interact with each other. Why else would we spend so much time and energy on it? We have churches telling us what we should or should not do. Laws are written to dictate behavior. Secular moral codes are handed down throughout various cultures. Then, after rules have been established, we go about trying to find loopholes in them. We philosophize about the merits of established protocols. We alter the rules sometimes to fit our situations. Some people ignore rules intentionally hoping nobody notices. The legal system debates whether rules have been broken or not, once someone has been charged with a transgression.

Even within personal relationships, rules play a large part. Over time, sometimes without even a discussion about it, people learn what their significant other will and won’t allow. As an example, masturbation is taboo for many married couples. In some cultures one spouse is considered inferior to the other and must demonstrate submissiveness through various gestures and traditions. Some cultures dictate that couples remain strictly monogamous while others allow for polyamory. A couple may even disagree about the rules but continue to live by them for the sake of the relationship.

By now it should be clear that rules are everywhere, integral to our lives and interactions with others. So why are they so important? Other than appeasement, is there any reason for us to continue playing by the rules? Religion will tell you there are unimaginable spiritual punishments for rule breakers. Governments will take away your freedom and physically punish people convicted of breaking laws. In fact, any large institution will respond with threats to any possible infraction of the rules they have established. With individuals, things work differently.

People live on trust and predictability. Each step one takes down a flight of stairs has already been calculated by the human brain. The calculations factor in a number of givens, one of them is that the step will not move when you put your weight on it. Should we come across a staircase which seems unstable or unpredictable, we will first test each step before transferring our weight onto it. Interpersonal relations function the same way. We assume that people will behave according to a set of standard rules; they will all face the door on an elevator. They will continue walking along the sidewalk at a steady pace. When people fail to live up to our expectations, we become less comfortable around them.

When you consider what rules really are; they are nothing more than expected behavior. If the rules say you roll dice then move your piece the number of steps shown on their top-most face, that is what you are expected to do. If you decide to move your piece based on the numbers shown on the side of the dice that is closest to you, other players may consider that an infraction because you aren’t doing what is expected. When people know the rules and break them anyway, it’s called cheating. Cheating at a game is generally considered a violation of rules, a transgression of ethical guidelines and socially unacceptable. So what happens if you’re playing a game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” for the last bit of food while stranded on a deserted island? Does morality still play a factor if you are cheating to ensure your own survival? Do ethics come into play if you cheat to benefit another player? If your choice to break the rules is overlooked (either intentionally or not), was it still wrong? Should a person still follow rules even though they may not be around to face the consequences of their infractions?

All these questions are part of our belief systems. Each person will answer them differently, based on how they have been conditioned. It is this difference in points of view which makes playing games with human opponents so much more interesting. The process of establishing rules, following or breaking them, punishing those who break them, and arguing about whether rules have been broken, are part of the experience.

In video games, even ones which feature open-ended gameplay, there aren’t shades of grey. If your character can walk down the street in a game, the creators of that game decide ahead of time whether he will be able to enter a building or vehicle. Once they make that decision, the player cannot ignore the rule. For this reason, video games don’t contain the same level of interaction that board and card games feature.

As a human, I look forward to my interactions with other humans. I like anticipating their expected behavior and it’s fun to be surprised by the unexpected sometimes. I like establishing rules, following, breaking , and debating them. I also like video games, but sometimes they don’t seem nearly as rewarding.

Now that the holidays have ended and a new year stretches out before us, why not make some changes? I thought it would benefit my motivation to blog if I made some improvements to this website.

So as you can see, the theme has been updated. What you may not notice though, is the new version of blogging software I’m running. It’s the latest WordPress build. There are plenty of new setting to play with. I’m hoping to properly impliment the gallery. I’ve also updated the “About Me” section.

If there’s anything you think is missing from this site, please let me know and I’ll see if I feel like adding it. Thanks for your attention and enjoy the newness of the year before it wears off.

We’re all just specks of organic matter that doesn’t really matter to the universe.

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